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Star Wars: The Jedi Fall @ Takarazuka (2704 words) by Grey_Bard
Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala
Additional Tags: Takarazuka Revue, References to Takarazuka Kagekidan, Imaginary Musicals, Humor, Yukigumi

Summary: The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, as adapted into musical theater by the Takarazuka Revue of Japan.

(Let's just imagine that licensing out the Disney songbook for an album was only the beginning of Disney's relationship with the all-female musical theater troupe, the Takarazuka Revue. Sparkles, discontinuity, casting and lightsaber interpretive dance ensue. )

A Detailed Summary of The Jedi Fall @ Takarazuka as written by an American fan

Act 1 - The Phantom Menace: As the curtains and the suns of Tatooine rise Shmi Skywalker, a slave, sings "As the Suns Rise, so Rises Hope" to her son Anakin. In it, she tells him that like the suns, hope always returns, including her hope for her child. The music is influenced by and includes parts of "Binary Sunset" from the original Star Wars score.  )

Or read it on AO3 here.

To people new to Takarazuka: I encourage you to read this short explanation of what the heck I'm talking about and check out for more of the delightful sparkly all-female musical crack that is this fandom.
grey_bard: (Valentines)
Meet Frank and Sadie Doyle: Toast of the upper crust, headliners on the society pages, and, oh yes... They see ghosts! Think Nick and Nora Charles, but minus dog and baby, plus being experts in the supernatural. I love it so very, very much.

Beyond Belief is a podcast radio show that's part of the "Thrilling Adventure Hour" anthology podcast - for a typical case, a great example episode is "Caped Fear". (Did I mention it stars Paget Brewster as Sadie Doyle?)

Ill-met in Amtor (or The Wrath of Con) (2057 words) by Grey_Bard
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Frank Doyle/Sadie Doyle
Characters: Frank Doyle, Sadie Doyle
Additional Tags: Humor, Fans, Conventions, Work Contains Fandom Elements, Beyond Belief, Based on a True Story, Except for Moloch, 1930's fandom wank
Summary: Frank and Sadie face down blue beverages, warring fans and an angry blood god.

Join Frank and Sadie Doyle as they walk beyond belief in tonight's episode Ill-met in Amtor, or The Wrath of Con )

Or read it on AO3 here.
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 So in a fit of enjoyable madness, I took part in the test round of Bad Bang, which is like a Big Bang, but terrible. Wonderfully terrible. Ficcers write intentional humorously bad fic and receive art that is outrageously terrible! And the feedback is just as bad! There are about 80-something fandoms covered, and it is more sheer ridiculous fun than anything I've done in a while. 

Go, go forth and read the Bad Bang if you dare! And leave equally silly feedback, perhaps.
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Call and Response (2252 words) by Grey_Bard
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Perscitia & Temeraire
Characters: Temeraire, Perscitia
Additional Tags: Epistolary, Dragons, Humor, University, Cambridge, 1870's, Futurefic, non-human protagonist
Series: Part 1 of With an eye to the future...

Summary: Dragons, higher education and excerable poetry... Excerpts from the historic correspondence of Vice Chancellor Emeritus Perscitia OBE PhD PhD and the dragon Temeraire, circa 1870.

Note: Hey guys, let's play spot the stealth crossover!
Temeraire: What is this I hear that you have retired indefinitely to Australia? )
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Literary Criticism in the Century of the Anchovy (198 words) by Grey_Bard
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Gytha "Nanny" Ogg, J. H. C. Goatberger

Summary: Gytha Ogg, infamous author of the celebrated Joye of Snacks, branches out into fiction with predictable results.

Excerpt from the Ankh-Morpork Times Book & Broadside Review Supplement )

Inspired by Hollimichele's Discworld fanzine The Turtle Moves, (available free online) and presented in celebration of its publication.
grey_bard: (Useless Knowledge?)
So in my "real" life, one of the things I do for money is write resumes using ridiculous corporate-speak. (I can write them without the ludicrous corporate speak, you understand, this is just what my parent company prefers.)

Some of the adjectives and fancy footwork is so ludicrously overblown that it frankly reminds me of supervillains. Which got me thinking that supervillain resumes would be pretty funny.

So. What supervillains do you think would have hilarious resumes? And whose resumes would you enjoy reading?
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Vid Title: Labyrinth... As Sung By Tom Jones
Song:   Do Ya Think I'm Sexy by Tom Jones
Artist: Tom Jones
Vidders: Grey Bard & Eva Kenieva
Fandom: Labyrinth
Genre: Humor
Pairings Jareth/Sarah, Jareth/Muppets, Jareth/Himself
Summary: The Jareth Song
Warnings: Jareth.

Notes: Special effects assistance and vid betaing from[personal profile] jmtorres , who taught me all I know. Further viewing and advice from [personal profile] elspethdixon [personal profile] elspethdixon , seanchai[personal profile] seanchai  and [personal profile] franzeska . I am a proud member of The House of Torres vidding group. Proudly presented for its world premiere at Club Vivid at Vividcon 2012!

Lyrics (edited for vid length) )

Download links: 24 mb mp4 file
and 10 mb mp4 file

Streaming video: Password protected on Vimeo. (The password is jareth.)

Previous Vids:

For Your Entertainment - Supernatural (The Trickster Gabriel) here
Like it or Not - Primeval (Helen Cutter) here

Technical Notes )
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Practical Mathematics (1745 words) by faviconGrey_Bard
Fandom: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Summary: After a hard shift saving the world, Stark - in his infinite wisdom - has decided to bond with Steve by talking about his favorite subject. Well, third favorite, after building things and smart-mouthing people.

Steve is pretty sure none of his experiences really count. Tony is starting to wonder what Steve's definition of "is" is.

The Avengers crashed in Tony Stark's living room. It had sofas, alcohol and a convenient fly-in entrance. )
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Amnesia Doesn't Make You Gay (1251 words) by faviconGrey_Bard and  faviconjmtorres
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Lestrade (Sherlock Holmes)

Summary: "If it could be easily induced and temporary, I might quite like having amnesia," Sherlock mused. "What a challenge! What a mystery! Pity it's wasted on you, John."

(Contains absolutely no dub-con)

You just couldn't do it the easy way )
grey_bard: (Scary writer place)

In the tradition of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters and the Meowmorphosis... I bring you Pride and Prejudice and Kitties!

Starring those darlings of the stage and screen, mosellegreen's Ling and Leo*.

(linked here: for the embed-avoidant)

Some of you may remember Mongor the Barbarian - a trailer starring my cat as Conan. This is like that, only with twice as many furry stars, and a plot!

* Yes, it's up on her account, but I vidded it. I was the director and producer, she was the cinematographer and casting director.
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So this year, I wrote some Avengers Movieverse fic. What a surprise, I know! Only I didn't get around to posting it all here so... here you go.

Hey Look, Watch This! (2519 words) by faviconGrey_Bard
Fandom: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Rating: General Audiences

Summary: In this episode of Top Gear, we've got American superheroes in our reasonably priced car! And James May flies a car that doesn't exist yet.

Adventures in Thor-Sitting (708 words) by faviconGrey_Bard
Fandom: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, Thor (2011), The Avengers (2012)
Rating: General Audiences

Summary: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark contemplated the smashed, smoking remains of the Papaya Dog on Ninth Avenue. "I never thought I'd say this," said Iron Man, "but this must be what being a parent feels like." In front of what used to be the shop window, Thor brandished his hammer. "Defy the son of Odin, manlings?" he shouted.

I'll have what he's having (284 words) by faviconGrey_Bard
Fandom: Thor (2011)
Relationships: Thor/Beer
Rating: General Audiences

Summary: Thor falls in love with a microbrewery.
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Title: Hey Look, Watch This!
Fandoms: Marvel Movieverse (Captain America: The First Avenger & the Iron Man movies), Top Gear UK
Characters: Tony Stark aka Iron Man, Steve Rogers aka Captain America
Rating: G-rated
Genre: Humor, Crossover
Warning: Contains real people, albeit in a g-rated fashion and only in the context of their television show.
Summary: In this episode, we've got American superheroes in our reasonably priced car! And James May flies a car that doesn't exist yet.

Notes:  Created in response to this prompt on the Captain America kink meme. The Avengers are Movieverse canon, but the larger Marvel universe is patched together from the comics and cartoons, in search of the version that amused me most.

By the way, I'm at faviconGrey_Bard on AO3. Available on AO3 here

Hey Look, Watch This! )
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Title: The Very Secret Diaries of Anne Boelyn (Which Are Very Historical And Not Made Up At All)
Fandom: The Tudors / History
Genre: Gen, Humor
Summary: Hats worn: 2, Times the King eyed me: 4, Times the King eyed my sister: 6. Drowning my sorrows in malmsy.

Note: Co-written with Kadorienne / [personal profile] mosellegreen and inspired by her "LolTudors" graphic attached below. Yes, a lolcats inspired graphic got me to write ridiculous fic about "history" (er, for a given value of history) / a show I don't actually watch

Posted here on Ao3

The Very Secret Diaries of Anne Boelyn (Which Are Very Historical And Not Made Up At All)  )
grey_bard: (Useless Knowledge?)
Why am I awake right now? Why am I doing this instead of something productive?

Don't say I never gave you anything, d-list and f-list. I present The Fanfiction Flamingo Generator as created by Butterflythread. I have no idea why I find it so tragically funny, and yet I do.

Can't find the plot? Moar worldbuilding!

It judges me, people, it judges me.

Read amazing alternate ending. Confuse with canon Watch a 50 year old movie. Look for fic for it.
There are pages of this.

grey_bard: (Useless Knowledge?)
It's that time again! Award show season, everyone's favorite annual case of deja vu. And time for that favorite play along at home game, Oscars Bingo! Just like last year, I've made bingo cards. Yes, there are a couple other people making them online, including The Academy Awards website itself with its product placement-tastic version, but homemade version is more unabashedly partisan, and thus (to my mind) funnier.

But don't take my word on it, click on the cut tag!
This way to the bingo cards! )
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Genre: Fandom Meta Humor
Pairing: Becky/Gabriel, references to Becky/Chuck, humor
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Every episode EVER
Summary: A trickster. Best rebound date ever, or best rebound date ever? Even if he is a troll.
Who do I blame for this? [personal profile] jmtorres who wanted to be amused with text messages. Five text messages later, I realized I was writing fic, much to my surprise. And the direction this fic took was also a little bit the fault of[personal profile] everysecondtuesday who put my brain back into Becky-land.

A note for those of you who DO watch Supernatural...  )

Some humorous context for those of you playing along at home, who haven't been watching Supernatural... )

ON TO THE FIC! (Click here) )
grey_bard: (Scary writer place)

It's that time again! Award show season. And time for that favorite play along at home game, Oscars Bingo! Yes, there are a couple other people making them online, including The Academy Awards website itself with its product placement-tastic version, but homemade version is more unabashedly partisan, and thus (to my mind) funnier.

But don't take my word on it, click the cut tag! )

I made a full set of these with randomised square-order for the upcoming New York ONTD_StarTrek Oscars party and uploaded it. The full set of twelve cards can be downloaded here.
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Title: Species Diversity and You: A Sexual Safety Presentation
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Innuendo, humor and mild subversiveness
Spoilers: Passing reference to an element of the Enterprise episode "Cogenitor"
Summary: A presentation from Starfleet Medical's Sexual Safety program, presented by cute animated mascots
Word count: 1,024
Genre: Gen, I suppose, since no characters actually *do* anything, they just talk about theoretical other beings doing it.
Email: fitzrose @
Notes: Written for Trek Novel Fest, inspired by the meta-tastic "instructional filmstrip" humor piece "Dilithium and You!" that somehow made it into an authorized novel despite being hilariously biting and true.

FROM Species Diversity and You, an animated presentation from Starfleet Medical's Sexual Safety program, mandatory viewing for all Starfleet personnel upon leaving their planet of origin. )